Captain Pratibha. The First Solder

An Australian reporter recently wrote this about journalism: it's a craft, a set of trade skills that can be applied pretty universally to a range of situations.

It immediately set my mind racing with thoughts about this one journalist in Fiji and how she would have paraphrased it: I do have a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very short career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you stop criticizing Bainimarama now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will write about you, and I will trash you.

This is our Fiji Sun 'journalist' Jyoti Pratibha. She is a storm unlike Katrina or Evans that hits us everyday through her Coconut Wireless column or when she is at full force displaying her 'journalistic' skills writing advertorials for Bainimarama.  

In modern society, journalism is said to serve the role of a "fourth estate", acting as a watchdog on the workings of the government. Unfortunately, Jyoti Pratibha's modern society exists on an entirely parallel universe that determines its own agenda, facts and logic according to revelations she receives in her dreams.

An adjudicator of political parties except the Bainimarama led Fiji First which she has determined enjoys immunity from her thru one of the decrees, Jyoti  Pratibha stands at the altar of national interest and decimates these political parties like no one has ever been able to. 

International journalists have also not escaped this esteemed journalists radar. An example was when she blamed Bruce Hill of Radio Australia for unbalanced coverage. His reply was that he does not read magazines or respond to their columnists.

Jyoti has been unlike any other journalists in recent times. She has stated with conviction and without using a single cell in her brain that she is biased towards the Bainimarama government.  "I stand  for nationalism and not parochialism."

Bainimarama Overwhelmed by Support for Cleansweep

Former military commander and current prime minister, Rear Admiral Frank Bainimarama disclosed to the reporters on Friday that he has received overwhelming support and a guaranteed assurance for a clean sweep in the upcoming general elections during a conversation he had with himself.

"It was a very private and comforting conversation," Bainimarama stated.

When pressed for more information by the reporters, Bainimarama opened up and related the conversation in detail.
"Well we spoke about Chaudhary, my new post and my chances in the upcoming election. But mostly it was about the upcoming elections and my clean sweep. Never before in my entire life have i ever been assured of such a concrete victory till last nights conversation with myself."

In other news, Mahendra Chaudhary has asked Bainimarama to reveal his salary citing him suffering amnesia during his time as the finance minister.

PDP - The Party of Not So Real Change

2013 is the year of hope. Hope for the better that would transpire after the 2014 election. The expectations are many from the people of Fiji. The ones who have registered to vote are like warriors on leash ready to be released cum 2014 and show their might in the voting booth. 

Change is the mantra. ‘Real Change’ as many paraphrase to distinguish from Obama’s ‘Change.’ Now one such party about real change is the Peoples Democratic Party or PDP as they like to be called. Since I follow these new parties that pop up to take advantage of the desperation that people are in, I was intrigued by the posts on PDP's Facebook page. (Social media is a great tool for building a movement and this party has recognised it.)

Now back to the posts. A fan of PDP (I understand you become a fan after clicking on the ‘Like’ button) decided to question on the integrity of PDP's leaders, one who I recall is Vijay Singh. Now this is the same Vijay Singh who gave his seat to Felix Anthony after being promised a senate seat and cried foul when he didn’t get the latter. Opportunist might I say, but who am I to judge. Except that perhaps one was able to do a lot more for his/her constituency by being the Member of Parliament. 

 Again back to the issue of that Facebook post I keep astraying from. After posting about the integrity of Vijay Singh and requesting the names of PDP's other leaders, the gentleman's post was honored with a reply;

"Please read the Fiji Sun dated 28 April 2013. The names of all persons who formed this party are listed."

 A fair reply I guess. And then the post got deleted. 

 So the gentleman not the one to give in and apparently pissed off at his post getting deleted posted again and I cut and paste from the PDP’s Facebook page;

So my post was deleted. Is this the essence of democracy and free speech that PDP is espousing. What is the difference between PDP and the dictatorship that is suppressing free expression and kicking democracy down the drain. Not much I say!

Apparently this got to the PDP’s Facebook administrator and he/she shot back with the following reply;

Read our rules. We do not allow any fake profiles on this page. We stand for free speech but will not engage with persons hiding behind fake profiles. We welcome debate and this is a free speech zone as per the following rules. Please note: 1. Discuss issues and issues alone; 2. No personal attacks, we are not interested in dirty linen; and 3. No fake profiles, persons hiding behind fictitious Facebook profiles.

Now it makes me wonder whether this Admin has a sixth sense to distinguish between a fake and genuine profile. My take is, you praise PDP then your profile is genuine but if you ask them uncomfortable questions then your profile is a fake. 

Not to be taken aback by this superpower of the PDP’s Facebook admin to distinguish fake profiles, the gentleman shot back and I again cut and paste the reply;

1. It's issues that's being discussed. If I am uncomfortable with your leader, are you telling us not to speak out about it.

2. In politics there is nothing such as dirty linen. It is everyones right to have access to information about politicians and have open discussion about it.

3. I have been a member of fb for the last six years. Many of my friends have clicked on your like page and I did the same upon invitation by one of them. It's my right to ask questions if I am uncomfortable unless of course you prefer being voted without being scrutinized.

Stop being paranoid on fake profiles because your false assumption just speaks a lot about your party.

The way you guys are censoring and being paranoid speaks alot about your members.

Allow discussions instead of deleting and censoring posts that makes you uncomfortable!'

I guess at this point, the admin realized that his/her superpower may not be super at all. So he/she came back with this reply;

Everything has been done in a transparent manner. We registered PDP as per the requirements, where the Elections office advertised our party details was not our choice. Our current president of the party is Adi Sivia Qoro, Current General Secretary of the party is Sat Narayan. This FB page is a work in progress, we will post more details in the coming weeks. If you are interested in meeting party members or attending our meetings in your city, please do let us know and we will be in touch.

Now back to my initial assessment of the new parties and their ideologies. PDP as sincere as they may have been in their intention towards forming a party for all the righteous of the reasons lost an opportunity to be different from the current regime. I will leave to the intellect of the readers to form an opinion about a party who behaves no differently than the current regime by censoring what it doesn’t like and putting a spin against those who pose questions uncomfortable to the leaders. 

Straight out of Qorvis’ playbook.

My point is simple; if someone takes issues with your leader or leaders, you reply positively explaining why is it or not so. You guys perhaps aren’t interested in dirty linen but the public who may be potential voters for your party have a right to know. 

They have a damn right to the information. And it’s the damn job of that party to give information.

A party who cannot accept criticism to begin with on a social network platform is a dangerous party. People who cherish their right to freedom of expression do not want a replica of the status quo. If that was the case then no one would be thinking about elections. 

If your leader is an opportunist, and someone posts about it, it’s nobler to censure the leader than censor the post. The old adage, do no kill the messenger perhaps just flew over your head. 

Everyone who posts on your Facebook page is given the benefit of the doubt that they are genuine people. Who are you to accuse someone of having a fake profile? 

If you can’t prove it then the noble thing to do is keep the pie hole shut or in your case don’t shoot back a reply such as that of PDP’s Facebook admin.

Finally how difficult is it for a party to just publish the names f the leaders on their Facebook page. I do understand it’s free. Yet PDP’s Facebook admin kept on referring the gentleman to a newspaper advertisement. My thinking is this; are you going to make someone run around if they need information. 

Now PDP is a party who I thought would be great. Unfortunately it’s made up of people who have the same dictatorial mind frame as we have now. I would rather not vote than vote for such a party.

 


 

Felix Anthony Claims to be a Victim of Mistaken Identity

Requests for Google Search To Prove His Claim

The recent arrest of trade unionist took a strange twist today after he claimed to be a victim of mistaken identity.

Speaking to reporters from his cell-block, Anthony said that the person who had appeared at anti-government rallies in Australia was another Felix Anthony whose full name is John Felix Anthony Cena.

Producing a photograph of him and John Cena with an artists impression of the latter having a moustache, Anthony told reporters that if they didnt believe him then they should do a search on popular search engine Google for 'Felix Anthony'. 

However what got the reporters thinking on Anthony's claim as really being genuine was his comparision with John Cena.

"I know for a fact that we have similar height and built but that guy has two balls something which I dont.That should settle it for all," he added.

Meanwhile an inside source has revealed that the person present at the anti-government rallies was indeed Felix Anthony who had placed his bets on Ratu Tevita Uluilakeba hoping to be part of the new government. 

"It seems like he grossly miscalculated his political fortunes, and now he is totally fucked."

The reporters also questioned Anthony on his rumoured breakup with Daniel Urai, a fellow trade unionist.

"Yup its true. We are no longer together. All this while, I was under an impression that we were in an exclusive relationship and I really wanted to take it to the next level. But what really broke my heart was when I saw him massaging Ratu Tevita's shoulder at a rally in Sydney. 

I  didn't lose hope and gave it another shot.That's when he told me that maybe we should just be friends and that I deserve someone better," a teary-eyed Anthony quipped.

In other news, cosmetic surgeons have failed in their fifth and final attempt to separate Samoan Prime Minister, Tuilaepa's lips from New Zealand Prime Minister, John Keys ass.

Bainimarama's New Constitution

In a major press conference held at the Prime Ministers office in Suva today, it was announced that the work on the new constitution would begin on the 27th of December, 2012.

The announcement which initially seemed like a victory for the constitution advocates was once again overshadowed by the sheer cleverness of the Prime Minister's initiatives towards keeping expenses down and running the economy on a frugal mode.

"The world is most likely going to end on December 22nd, 2012. And that's the reason I have delayed any work on the new constitution until 27th December 2012. If the world doesn't end on 22nd December, then atleast by 27th of December, we would get an all clear signal and henceforth begin the work on the constitution. As such I see no reason to waste taxpayers funds on constitution work before 27th of December, 2012," the Prime Minister announced.

Apart from the announcement on the constitution time frame, it was also announced that a new decree has come into effect making it mandatory for all new plaques for opening of new projects and places to be made out of stainless steel 316L marine grade.

"If the world does end on the 22nd of December, 2012, the last thing we would want is for this plaques to be corroded by seawater when Fiji Islands sinks into the ocean," 

In other news, the rift between Bainimarama and Syed Khaiyum deepened after the Prime Minister removed Khaiyum from his Facebook Friends List.

Samoa PM Tuilaepa Admits To Having His Head Struck Up His Ass

In what was a long held belief by some and suspicion by many became a full fledged truth after Samoa Prime Minister Sailele Tuilaepa admitted in a press conference yesterday that his head was stuck up his ass.

"Yes I can tell you my beloved people that my head has been up there for a very long time."

The admittance came a day later after the press conference with New Zealand Foreign Minister Murray McCully in which Tuilaepa requested the Australasian governments to increase the sanction on Fiji by atleast 10 times.But what really got everyone talking was after Tuilaepa,justified his call for sanctions by telling the press conference that the ordinary people would not suffer because they actually only fish and grow their own food and are basically living in a subsistence society.

Widely accepted as the Pacifics jester for his rather colourful words and expressions, it was his this lack of knowledge about the people in Fiji which shocked everyone.   

The revelation also finally confirmed what the conspiracy theorists had been claiming all along.
"First he wanted to change the road driving rules from the widely accepted left lane to the unpopular right lane. We understood that he was trying to be different from other Pacifc leaders in anyway that he could possibly think of. But with this fishing and growing own food theory about the Fiji people, he just eliminated whatever doubts we had about him," a conspiracy theorist named Abel Kamoe revealed.after Tuilaepa's press conference.

However Tuilaepas admittance increased the suspicion among other conspiracy theorists who have claimed that Tuilaepas head was in actually fact deep inside New Zealand Foreign Minister Murray McCully's ass.

"Why would he accept it so quickly and unconditionally. We think his ass is just being used as a decoy to divert our notion away from the real ass where his head is," an unnamed conspiracy theorist belonging to the group, Where Is Tuilaepas Head Really Buried. 

In other news, the recent deep sea earthquake near Lau Group has been revealed to be the work of Fiji Government as a retaliatory measure for Ratu Tevita Uluilakeba's actions

Actual Photo of the Meeting Between Tuilaepa, Roko Ului and Baledrokadroka

Note: When we talk of our beloved Fiji, one thing we aim to do is ensure that its sovereignty is intact no matter what would be the reward for anything otherwise.

Click for larger image

Samoan Prime Minister Tuilaepa Sailele Would Even Meet a Dog

Samoan Prime Minister Tuilaepa Sailele Malielelagaoi has publicly acknowledged that he would happily sit and have tea with a dog as long as it belonged to Fiji Prime Minister Frank Bainimarama and had left him.

Responding to questions at home on why he chose to meet fugitive and coup plotter, Ratu Tevita Mara, Tuilaepa had this to say, "anyone who ditches Bainimarama is my guest even if its a dog. Its not like its a matter of principle and belief in democratic principles. Frank and i have this thingy going on between us. He knows it and i know it."

Tuilaepa's answer didn't come in as a surprise considering the ongoing spat between him and Frank Bainimarama since 2006 after Frank ditched him at the altar. Tuilaepa has since then taken every possible opportunity to take aim at Frank with his tirades and has since then remained unmarried and without a partner.

Understandably so, the Samoan taxpayers were sympathetic towards Tuilaepa after he flew to Australia to meet Ratu Tevita Mara. According to one Samoan resident who chose to remain anonymous, "the guy is heartbroken. Its difficult to let go especially if you are left standing red faced in front of so many people when your groom doesn't turn up. If this trip to Australia soothes him down and makes him govern this country better we are all for it.

Elsewhere, New Zealand based journalist, Michael Field was overwhelmed with congratulatory messages after publishing his first accurate piece of journalistic article titled, 'Mara and Baledrokadroka plotting a coup': Opinion piece by Michael Field

Facebok Group - 'Give Our Thumbs Back and Take This!'

A local dad has formed a Facebook group called Give Our Thumbs Back and Take This! in a sharp rebuke to Ratu Tevita Mara’s Thumbs Up For Democracy Campaign.

Stating his name as Jone Coe, he mentioned on the Facebook group that he came up with this campaign after ‘certain’ incidents which have led to deep rift within members of his family.

“As you would all know that Former 3FIR Commander Ratu Tevita Mara launched a Thumbs Up For Democracy Campaign where citizens have been asked to show thumbs up to family and friends as a non- verbal way of saying we want democracy. Well Mr. Mara let me tell you that reality on the ground is totally different. Do you have any idea how much hot water you have placed us in? Let me explain. 

You see, last Saturday I was at the sports ground watching my 7 years old son play rugby. As much as I wanted to watch him play I was also afraid of the dreadful moment – him scoring a try. And then it happened. He scored a try and looked up at me on the stands waiting for me to do what any proud father would do – give him a thumbs up!

Now he is totally oblivious to the mess that you have created for us. There was no way I was going to do that in a crowded place with police all around and look like a democracy supporter and being anti-Bainimarama . So I showed my son my little finger as an alternative. The disappointment on his face was heart wrenching. But he is just a kid.

The real problem arose when I went shopping with my wife. After she had chosen a dress and wore it in the change room, she came out and looked at me for a sign of approval. Before your campaign ‘that gets everyone in hot water’, I used to show her thumbs up or a nod of disapproval. But there was no way I was giving her thumbs up because YOU Mr. Tevita would now make us look like democracy advocates.

So I kept on disapproving while she had to change into 8 different dresses. Seeing the frustration on her face after the eight time I decided to give her a gentle approval by showing a not so firm middle finger. Now she has stopped cooking for me!

The thumbs up were a sign of ‘it’s all good’ or ‘nice’. You just fucked it up. And just not for me alone, Mr. Mara. There are a countless other people with me who have been in this equally difficult situation. You have taken our simple thumbs up and turned it into a political gimmick. So in response to it I have created a Facebook page to gather support to take our good old thumbs up back. If you really want us to show the government what a job they are doing and the army and cops, then you should have opted for the middle finger approach. That suits it better doesn’t it? 

P.S. Now I don’t really expect much from a guy who left his own family and fled for his own safety but please and I really mean the please part, don’t fuck up our lives in Fiji by doing all that you are doing from the safety and comfort of Tonga. If you really are such an advocate of democracy and have so much support, why don’t you battle it out from here in Fiji

Join me here Give Our Thumbs Back and Take This!

Ratu Tevitia Uluilakeba New YouTube Video

In a move that has shocked anti-government supports, fugitive and former Fiji Military’s Chief of Staff, Ratu Tevita Uluilakeba has released a new YouTube video in which he outlines the basic equipment that ought to be taken while on a fishing trip, a clear shift from his anti-Bainimarama speeches. The YouTube video titled, ‘Seafarers Essentials’ was posted at around 1700 hours FJT Wednesday and was confirmed as authentic by digital forensic experts.

Appearing in a Hawaiian shirt, Ratu Tevita thanked all the fishermen out at sea before speaking on his list of equipment. The four and half minute video contained in total twenty things a fisherman has to have on board including suits and leather shoes incase a mermaid appears and invites one for dinner or lunch. 

Once he was essentially done with the lists, he mentioned about the controversial distress signal that he had supposedly sent, a claim refuted by Royal New Zealand Navy.

“There can be lots of different types of distress signals that we can send while stranded out in open waters. It’s very important that we think outside the box. I used a davui and winks. Perhaps Royal New Zealand Navy is just not that smart to pick it up,” Ratu Tevita stated.

He also released a statement shortly after the release of this fourth YouTube video thanking everyone for viewing it and he is impressed by the number of hits that he is getting. According to the statement, he expected ‘bit more hits’ and in a thin veiled reference to pop singer Lady Gaga’s YouTube videos, he stated that she has set the benchmark and its up to the people of Fiji to help him beat her record.

Meanwhile, fellow officer Pita Driti who was also charged with Ratu Tevita on  making seditious charges told our correspondent that he was angry with Ratu Tevita not for leaving him behind but lying to him all this while that the charges were, ‘making seductive comments rather than seditious comments.’ My bad, I should have read the charges myself. 

In other news, former Prime Minister Sitiveni Rabuka called on Ratu Tevita to come back to Fiji to ‘face the music’ and offered to buy him a new sound system for an excellent quality sound and music.

Who is this Reclusive Pita Driti

One of the most extraordinary events to date has been the former RFMF Land Forces Commander, Pita Driti announcing that he would be returning to his home planet, Krypton.

Pita Driti, the name that has struck fear in the heart of pro-democracy activists while oozing out love from those who have known him closely still remains a mystery figure seldom bringing himself into public's attention and remaining question personified.We therefore search out and try to answer one question, who is this reclusive Pita Driti.

The former military strong man gained fame during the early phase of the 2006 coup for his unique torture style which many have called a scene straight out of dark fictions. One of his trademarks was when a detainee at the military barracks would be standing in bare minimum clothes with a dimly lit lamp hanging from the ceiling in front of them and absolute darkness and chilling hollow space forming the background. 

It’s in this specially effected settings that Pita Driti produced some of his most finest and brilliant works when he would silently appear like a dark shadow behind the detainee and whisper barely audible chilling words into their ears before disappearing back into the darkness with the same element of surprise with which he appeared and consequently leaving the detainee with a wet and warm feelings between their legs.

A Brigadier General in ranks, the reclusive and media shy Pita Driti was forced into the limelight after the events of 2006. His natural hatred towards limelight has often been considered by psychologists as a prime motivation for his dark shadow character in the torture rooms.   

A lover at heart, Pita Driti did not fail to win the hearts of thousands for whom he had become a fictional superhero, and strangely enough in more of a pleasant surprise than a weird twist, his real name was just recently revealed to be Kal-El, which is too much of a coincidence since the only known person whose real identity is just as enigmatic as Pita Driti is a Kansas, USA resident named Clark Kent aka Superman.The only exception was that for our ‘Clark Kent’ there were many Lanes while Clark Kent just had Lois Lane.

Although Pita Driti has refused to comment on him being the real superman, his silence has amplified his enigma and has lately become the cause for a Facebook Page, ‘We Are Waiting for You on Twitter Pita Driti Sir’ boasting over 20,000 members. According to personality experts, Pita Driti's reluctance to say anything has lead to an increased curiosity among the people on what goes on in the mind of this person who has become a fusion of a Dark Knight and the Spirit.

However the Facebook effort by his die-hard fans may have hit a bump after what appeared to be a communiqué from the man himself in which he is rumored to have said, ‘I will start tweeting once my thoughts become that long.

The man however wasn’t without critics and foes. But when compared to his fan they resembled more of a sponge cake on a baking powder high rather than an iron ball. Many psychological experts have also said that in the days after Pita Driti’s return to planet Krypton there would possibly be a high occurrence of depressive behavior being displayed by people; sign of a nation in mourning. What the actual effects would be is truly unfathomable at the moment and the nation can just wait for the day while holding their breath. 

Finally, unconfirmed reports from few established sources has indicated that Satan himself maybe be present to farewell Pita Driti despite recent tension between them; a result of clash of egos.

Democracy March

Breaking News!!! The organizers of the 4th March democratic march have announced that they would be present at Sukuna Park themselves. The organizers have aplogised for calling the march last year but not turning up themselves.

"This time its different. Because we had a calling from god himself, we will definitely be present." 

Quoting from the ancient Hinduism scripture of Bhagvad Geeta, one of the organisers read, "physical form can be destroyed, but spiritual form is eternal, which is why we will only be present spiritually."

Adding on, another organizer had this to say, "the key word is 'being present."

Meanwhile another organizer apologised for using excessive CAPS in the call for march letter explaining that the message was so long, it would have become extremely laborious while typing if they had to keep on changing from capital letters to small caps and back. He also said that the use of CAPS showed that they were from the grass-root level.

Is Bainimarama Qarase's Creation

Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity and it was the avariciousness of it from the one entrusted to lead that has set the course of this country towards calamity. 

It was the 25^th of April, 2005 when Laisenia Qarase in one of his speeches said that the concept of racism was alien and abhorrent to him and that his government was working on building an inclusive society where the views and opinions of every community is taken into account. Just a month earlier, he had reacted rather sturdily to a U.S. State Department report critical of racial discrimination in Fiji, and of the racial divide between Fiji's two main political parties. He had rebuked the United States for interfering in Fiji's internal affairs.

A year later in the 2006 general elections, having secured 81% of the indigenous Fijian votes it was going to take a statesmanlike approach from him to build his envisioned inclusive society – gain support of Indo-Fijians who had just a mere 2% supporting him in the elections incidentally due to what they perceived as Laisenia Qarase being an epitome of racism.

Laisenia Qarase in reality had a totally different vision and on his part did not disappoint the Indo-Fijians instead cementing their perception about him by introducing 3 legislative bills, Land Tribunal Bill, Qoliqoli Bill and Reconciliation and Unity Bill – straight out of a xenophobe’s wish list. 

Unwittingly he was setting the stage for one of the greatest plays that would later unfold in Fiji. Laisenia Qarase was not a dictator in a democratic society. In actuality he abused the privileges afforded though a democratic system – a ‘foreign flower’ that was not suited to Fiji’s climate as he preferred to call it.

Qarase squeezed the democratic system like a ripe orange and extracted every drop of government and legislative apparatus available in his bid to introduce and enshrine his racist policies. He made complete use of independent justice system and its loopholes wherever it benefited him and his cronies – extra mural release of prominent people specifically associated with his government became a signature of his government.

Laisenia Qarase under an impression that he had learnt from the mistakes of his predecessors made each of his political moves just as a chess grandmaster would make. Alas, he just wasn’t one. He appeased the fundamentalists, the chiefs, the business community and every other entity he thought would have any bit of vested interest in carrying out a coup against his government. 

But most of all he appeased his own ego and in the process disappointed the only person and the institution that had been responsible for all of the previous coups. That gross error in judgment caused by his ego set this great island nation on the path of demise.

In simple words, Laisenia Qarase had the best chance of taking Fiji forward at an express speed towards a vibrant, economically developed country but he fucked up.

His 3 racist legislative bills became a pretext; a prologue to the epic 3-Act play that the military commander Commodore Frank Bainimarama had been waiting for. Bainimarama had become a jilted lover who after taking his partner to the heights of success was not only ditched but sodomized. The only problem was that this ditched lover had a gun. Actually he had and entire fully armed military force behind him.

 It is really important to tread on your relationship with such a lover with extreme caution especially if there is something much bigger than yourself at stake – in this case it was the country.

Bainimarama for all he had done for Qarase got a mutiny attack at his own barracks, a law suit from the family of dead CRW soldiers killed during the mutiny, a possible criminal investigation into the mystery surrounding the then President Ratu Sir Kamisese Mara’s surprise resignation, a surcharge on blowing the RFMF budget. 

In hindsight all that Bainimarama wanted was Qarase's undivided attention and became bitter along time when none of it came his way as Qarase failed to display sufficient appreciation and gratitude towards the man who placed him in power. 

It would have been naïve to remotely assume that Bainimarama was unaware of Qarase’s ideologies before he handed Qarase the reign of this country after the 2000 coup. Bainimarama did not care about Qarase and his ideologies or racist policies.

Bainimarama wanted his back scratched by Qarase forever. Its not that there wasn’t any appreciation by Qarase towards Bainimarama – there most certainly was, but the following general election and the support that Qarase received from the I-taukei was like a celestial message for him that Bainimarama can go to hell.

Embalmed in the mirage of popular support and backing, Laisenia Qarase ignored the dynamics and the culture of coups in Fiji. What he failed to grasp or perhaps ignored was one dreadful truth - it was always the military that had been responsible for all the coups. The welfare of this country or being the guardian or savior of this country was secondary to the military officers. Their loyalty was to their commander.

Laisenia Qarase guided by his ego took his relationship with that military’s commander to the tallest summit of acrimony from where the only thing that seems to be falling down is this country. 

And the passiveness of this country’s population is highlighted by a saying, ‘when choosing between two evils; I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before.’

Next we will talk about Bainimarama’s 3-Act play.

Al-Qaeda Responds to Gaddafis Accusation

In a surprise twist to the revolution that has been sweeping through the Middle East, Al-Qaeda and Osama bin Laden have finally involved themselves alas through a written statement purportedly from Osama bin Laden himself.

Strangely, for the first time ever, the statement did not mention America, Europe or Beyonce, rather, aiming its argument directly to the core thorny issue – the most recent statement released by Libyan leader Muammer Gaddafi – accusing Osama bin Laden of serving coffee.

According to the statement, Al-Qaeda and Osama bin Laden himself had deliberately stayed themselves clear of any involvement in the uprising in Tunisia and Egypt.

“For years, my organisation and I have built a rapport based on fear and terror. We showed extreme restraint and discipline by not getting drawn into the conflict in Tunisia and Egypt despite our name being evoked on many occasions by both the countries leaders.” 

But finally Gaddafi has done the most humiliating thing – implying that I am a barista and destroying all norms of decency by his ‘coffee accusation’. This is atrocious and insane,” 

“I wonder what he is going to say next; that we are planning on a Starbucks or a McDonalds franchise or worse, selling coffee in 1 liter packs now. We are in the business of bombs and terrorists and coffee has absolutely no part in our daily life. Screw you Gaddafi!” the statement read.

The statement which was supposedly hand written ended abruptly with ink smudged where the last character was written making analysts fear the worst – Osama bin Laden is totally pissed off with Gaddafi.