Who is this Reclusive Pita Driti

One of the most extraordinary events to date has been the former RFMF Land Forces Commander, Pita Driti announcing that he would be returning to his home planet, Krypton.

Pita Driti, the name that has struck fear in the heart of pro-democracy activists while oozing out love from those who have known him closely still remains a mystery figure seldom bringing himself into public's attention and remaining question personified.We therefore search out and try to answer one question, who is this reclusive Pita Driti.

The former military strong man gained fame during the early phase of the 2006 coup for his unique torture style which many have called a scene straight out of dark fictions. One of his trademarks was when a detainee at the military barracks would be standing in bare minimum clothes with a dimly lit lamp hanging from the ceiling in front of them and absolute darkness and chilling hollow space forming the background. 

It’s in this specially effected settings that Pita Driti produced some of his most finest and brilliant works when he would silently appear like a dark shadow behind the detainee and whisper barely audible chilling words into their ears before disappearing back into the darkness with the same element of surprise with which he appeared and consequently leaving the detainee with a wet and warm feelings between their legs.

A Brigadier General in ranks, the reclusive and media shy Pita Driti was forced into the limelight after the events of 2006. His natural hatred towards limelight has often been considered by psychologists as a prime motivation for his dark shadow character in the torture rooms.   

A lover at heart, Pita Driti did not fail to win the hearts of thousands for whom he had become a fictional superhero, and strangely enough in more of a pleasant surprise than a weird twist, his real name was just recently revealed to be Kal-El, which is too much of a coincidence since the only known person whose real identity is just as enigmatic as Pita Driti is a Kansas, USA resident named Clark Kent aka Superman.The only exception was that for our ‘Clark Kent’ there were many Lanes while Clark Kent just had Lois Lane.

Although Pita Driti has refused to comment on him being the real superman, his silence has amplified his enigma and has lately become the cause for a Facebook Page, ‘We Are Waiting for You on Twitter Pita Driti Sir’ boasting over 20,000 members. According to personality experts, Pita Driti's reluctance to say anything has lead to an increased curiosity among the people on what goes on in the mind of this person who has become a fusion of a Dark Knight and the Spirit.

However the Facebook effort by his die-hard fans may have hit a bump after what appeared to be a communiqué from the man himself in which he is rumored to have said, ‘I will start tweeting once my thoughts become that long.

The man however wasn’t without critics and foes. But when compared to his fan they resembled more of a sponge cake on a baking powder high rather than an iron ball. Many psychological experts have also said that in the days after Pita Driti’s return to planet Krypton there would possibly be a high occurrence of depressive behavior being displayed by people; sign of a nation in mourning. What the actual effects would be is truly unfathomable at the moment and the nation can just wait for the day while holding their breath. 

Finally, unconfirmed reports from few established sources has indicated that Satan himself maybe be present to farewell Pita Driti despite recent tension between them; a result of clash of egos.

Democracy March

Breaking News!!! The organizers of the 4th March democratic march have announced that they would be present at Sukuna Park themselves. The organizers have aplogised for calling the march last year but not turning up themselves.

"This time its different. Because we had a calling from god himself, we will definitely be present." 

Quoting from the ancient Hinduism scripture of Bhagvad Geeta, one of the organisers read, "physical form can be destroyed, but spiritual form is eternal, which is why we will only be present spiritually."

Adding on, another organizer had this to say, "the key word is 'being present."

Meanwhile another organizer apologised for using excessive CAPS in the call for march letter explaining that the message was so long, it would have become extremely laborious while typing if they had to keep on changing from capital letters to small caps and back. He also said that the use of CAPS showed that they were from the grass-root level.

Is Bainimarama Qarase's Creation

Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity and it was the avariciousness of it from the one entrusted to lead that has set the course of this country towards calamity. 

It was the 25^th of April, 2005 when Laisenia Qarase in one of his speeches said that the concept of racism was alien and abhorrent to him and that his government was working on building an inclusive society where the views and opinions of every community is taken into account. Just a month earlier, he had reacted rather sturdily to a U.S. State Department report critical of racial discrimination in Fiji, and of the racial divide between Fiji's two main political parties. He had rebuked the United States for interfering in Fiji's internal affairs.

A year later in the 2006 general elections, having secured 81% of the indigenous Fijian votes it was going to take a statesmanlike approach from him to build his envisioned inclusive society – gain support of Indo-Fijians who had just a mere 2% supporting him in the elections incidentally due to what they perceived as Laisenia Qarase being an epitome of racism.

Laisenia Qarase in reality had a totally different vision and on his part did not disappoint the Indo-Fijians instead cementing their perception about him by introducing 3 legislative bills, Land Tribunal Bill, Qoliqoli Bill and Reconciliation and Unity Bill – straight out of a xenophobe’s wish list. 

Unwittingly he was setting the stage for one of the greatest plays that would later unfold in Fiji. Laisenia Qarase was not a dictator in a democratic society. In actuality he abused the privileges afforded though a democratic system – a ‘foreign flower’ that was not suited to Fiji’s climate as he preferred to call it.

Qarase squeezed the democratic system like a ripe orange and extracted every drop of government and legislative apparatus available in his bid to introduce and enshrine his racist policies. He made complete use of independent justice system and its loopholes wherever it benefited him and his cronies – extra mural release of prominent people specifically associated with his government became a signature of his government.

Laisenia Qarase under an impression that he had learnt from the mistakes of his predecessors made each of his political moves just as a chess grandmaster would make. Alas, he just wasn’t one. He appeased the fundamentalists, the chiefs, the business community and every other entity he thought would have any bit of vested interest in carrying out a coup against his government. 

But most of all he appeased his own ego and in the process disappointed the only person and the institution that had been responsible for all of the previous coups. That gross error in judgment caused by his ego set this great island nation on the path of demise.

In simple words, Laisenia Qarase had the best chance of taking Fiji forward at an express speed towards a vibrant, economically developed country but he fucked up.

His 3 racist legislative bills became a pretext; a prologue to the epic 3-Act play that the military commander Commodore Frank Bainimarama had been waiting for. Bainimarama had become a jilted lover who after taking his partner to the heights of success was not only ditched but sodomized. The only problem was that this ditched lover had a gun. Actually he had and entire fully armed military force behind him.

 It is really important to tread on your relationship with such a lover with extreme caution especially if there is something much bigger than yourself at stake – in this case it was the country.

Bainimarama for all he had done for Qarase got a mutiny attack at his own barracks, a law suit from the family of dead CRW soldiers killed during the mutiny, a possible criminal investigation into the mystery surrounding the then President Ratu Sir Kamisese Mara’s surprise resignation, a surcharge on blowing the RFMF budget. 

In hindsight all that Bainimarama wanted was Qarase's undivided attention and became bitter along time when none of it came his way as Qarase failed to display sufficient appreciation and gratitude towards the man who placed him in power. 

It would have been naïve to remotely assume that Bainimarama was unaware of Qarase’s ideologies before he handed Qarase the reign of this country after the 2000 coup. Bainimarama did not care about Qarase and his ideologies or racist policies.

Bainimarama wanted his back scratched by Qarase forever. Its not that there wasn’t any appreciation by Qarase towards Bainimarama – there most certainly was, but the following general election and the support that Qarase received from the I-taukei was like a celestial message for him that Bainimarama can go to hell.

Embalmed in the mirage of popular support and backing, Laisenia Qarase ignored the dynamics and the culture of coups in Fiji. What he failed to grasp or perhaps ignored was one dreadful truth - it was always the military that had been responsible for all the coups. The welfare of this country or being the guardian or savior of this country was secondary to the military officers. Their loyalty was to their commander.

Laisenia Qarase guided by his ego took his relationship with that military’s commander to the tallest summit of acrimony from where the only thing that seems to be falling down is this country. 

And the passiveness of this country’s population is highlighted by a saying, ‘when choosing between two evils; I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before.’

Next we will talk about Bainimarama’s 3-Act play.