Fiji Independence Order Stolen

Prime Suspect Named

In a major breaking news, the Assistant Permanent Secretary for Information, Setareki Tale has stated in a press conference held this evening that the Fiji Independence Order is not lost but stolen. He further went on to say that their prime suspect at the moment is Nicholas Cage.

The journalists present at the scene were left speechless by this news. However after five minutes of trying to get back their speech, one of the reporters inquired Mr. Tale on how he knew it was Nicholas Cage?

To which Mr. Tale produced a DVD copy of the movie National Treasure and said, “We have evidence of this guy doing a similar thing in the past. If he has managed to sneak past one of the most secure locations in the world and steal the Declaration of Independence, then our security level is a childs play for him.”

In concluding the press conference, Mr. Tale looked straight at the television cameras and in a direct address to Nicholas Cage pleaded with him to return the Fiji Independence Order and that the Fiji Government needed that treasure map found on the back of that Order more than him.

In other news, ANZ Fiji has boosted the Fiji Employers Federation bid to become bigger assholes by providing it with a $10,000 sponsorship for its conference.