Thursday, July 14, 2011

Samoa PM Tuilaepa Admits To Having His Head Struck Up His Ass

In what was a long held belief by some and suspicion by many became a full fledged truth after Samoa Prime Minister Sailele Tuilaepa admitted in a press conference yesterday that his head was stuck up his ass.

"Yes I can tell you my beloved people that my head has been up there for a very long time."

The admittance came a day later after the press conference with New Zealand Foreign Minister Murray McCully in which Tuilaepa requested the Australasian governments to increase the sanction on Fiji by atleast 10 times.But what really got everyone talking was after Tuilaepa,justified his call for sanctions by telling the press conference that the ordinary people would not suffer because they actually only fish and grow their own food and are basically living in a subsistence society.

Widely accepted as the Pacifics jester for his rather colourful words and expressions, it was his this lack of knowledge about the people in Fiji which shocked everyone.   

The revelation also finally confirmed what the conspiracy theorists had been claiming all along.
"First he wanted to change the road driving rules from the widely accepted left lane to the unpopular right lane. We understood that he was trying to be different from other Pacifc leaders in anyway that he could possibly think of. But with this fishing and growing own food theory about the Fiji people, he just eliminated whatever doubts we had about him," a conspiracy theorist named Abel Kamoe revealed.after Tuilaepa's press conference.

However Tuilaepas admittance increased the suspicion among other conspiracy theorists who have claimed that Tuilaepas head was in actually fact deep inside New Zealand Foreign Minister Murray McCully's ass.

"Why would he accept it so quickly and unconditionally. We think his ass is just being used as a decoy to divert our notion away from the real ass where his head is," an unnamed conspiracy theorist belonging to the group, Where Is Tuilaepas Head Really Buried

In other news, the recent deep sea earthquake near Lau Group has been revealed to be the work of Fiji Government as a retaliatory measure for Ratu Tevita Uluilakeba's actions