Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Superman Recruited To Fight Poverty in Fiji

Extreme Situations Call for Extraordinary Measures.

The Fiji Government has taken one of the most extraordinary measures to date in their fight against poverty by recruiting Superman.

Mr. Nemani Mati, the deputy secretary in the Prime Ministers Office made the announcement at the Southern Cross Hotels conference room where he appeared alongside Superman.

“We have spent $1.5Bln from 2000 to 2008 but poverty still remains. Now that’s a huge sum of money and it was ineffectively used. So our think tanks did some brainstorming and came up with the suggestion to hire Superman. He has unique credentials which would be ideal to his role in fighting poverty. And look, extreme situations calls for extraordinary measures,” Mr. Mati announced.

But the moment belonged to the the Man of Steel who came out and addressed the huge crowd gathered outside the hotel. Standing with his hands on his hips in his trademark pose, Superman told the crowd that fighting poverty was a tiny effort when compared to fighting Lex Luther.

However according to a Mr. Sarju Prasad who had traveled all the way from Sigatoka to catch a glimpse of the superhero, he was baffled by the governments decision and wondered if it was really a sensible move to hire someone who was still unsure about how to wear his underwear.

Superman, who hails from Smallville in Kansas would reportedly receive around $1 Million and a job with Fiji Sun for his alter persona, Clark Kent, would remain in Fiji for the next two years to complete his mission. It is unclear at the moment if he would be paid any traveling allowance.

Meanwhile, insiders have confirmed that initially, Jack Bauer was the first choice for the Fiji Government to fight poverty however his busy schedule and high fees led the government to rescind idea of hiring him.

In other news, after diagnosing the Fiji Sun, doctors have confirmed that there is an outbreak of the dreaded Apple Polish Syndrome.

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