New Decree Against Complains

Largest Group to Be Affected Are Spouses

The Fiji Government took a preemptive action against complains today by announcing the introduction of a new decree.

According to a spokesperson in the Prime Ministers Office, the government has had enough of all the complains directed towards it and as such the new decree to be introduced and imposed soon would address this serious issue on all levels and turn Fiji into a complain free society.

“We received complains against extensive prank calls and when we introduced a decree to curb these prank calls the complains started being directed towards the decree. And then we received complains against inefficient government services and when we introduced this proposal for a national identity card, we got complains against it. And the list goes on. Frankly speaking we are tired of all the complains,” the spokesperson told the journalists at a press briefing this evening.

“Basically this decree is in line with all the other decrees that the government has introduced to curb anything that it does not like. Complaining is evil and this government will ensure that nothing evil prevails in the Fijian society. Period,” the spokesperson added.

At the conclusion of the press briefing, the spokesperson in response to a question from a reporter said that there would be consultation process before the introduction of the decree similar to the Media Decree consultation process.

Meanwhile according to Professor Richard Roch, a world authority on complains and marital discords, the introduction of this decree by the government may in actual fact be against spouses of the government officials and ministers who have recently gone on a traveling spree around the world.

“The last thing they need is complains from their spouses after incurring a barrage of it from overseas governments, NGOs’ and bloggers," Professor Roch explained.

In other news, the Land Transport Authority of Fiji has stated that those caught speeding, talking on phone while driving and DUI would be issued with fines and an ‘Asshole’ badge.