Thursday, March 17, 2011

Who is this Reclusive Pita Driti


One of the most extraordinary events to date has been the former RFMF Land Forces Commander, Pita Driti announcing that he would be returning to his home planet, Krypton.

Pita Driti, the name that has struck fear in the heart of pro-democracy activists while oozing out love from those who have known him closely still remains a mystery figure seldom bringing himself into public's attention and remaining question personified.We therefore search out and try to answer one question, who is this reclusive Pita Driti.

The former military strong man gained fame during the early phase of the 2006 coup for his unique torture style which many have called a scene straight out of dark fictions. One of his trademarks was when a detainee at the military barracks would be standing in bare minimum clothes with a dimly lit lamp hanging from the ceiling in front of them and absolute darkness and chilling hollow space forming the background. 

It’s in this specially effected settings that Pita Driti produced some of his most finest and brilliant works when he would silently appear like a dark shadow behind the detainee and whisper barely audible chilling words into their ears before disappearing back into the darkness with the same element of surprise with which he appeared and consequently leaving the detainee with a wet and warm feelings between their legs.

A Brigadier General in ranks, the reclusive and media shy Pita Driti was forced into the limelight after the events of 2006. His natural hatred towards limelight has often been considered by psychologists as a prime motivation for his dark shadow character in the torture rooms.   

A lover at heart, Pita Driti did not fail to win the hearts of thousands for whom he had become a fictional superhero, and strangely enough in more of a pleasant surprise than a weird twist, his real name was just recently revealed to be Kal-El, which is too much of a coincidence since the only known person whose real identity is just as enigmatic as Pita Driti is a Kansas, USA resident named Clark Kent aka Superman.The only exception was that for our ‘Clark Kent’ there were many Lanes while Clark Kent just had Lois Lane.

Although Pita Driti has refused to comment on him being the real superman, his silence has amplified his enigma and has lately become the cause for a Facebook Page, ‘We Are Waiting for You on Twitter Pita Driti Sir’ boasting over 20,000 members. According to personality experts, Pita Driti's reluctance to say anything has lead to an increased curiosity among the people on what goes on in the mind of this person who has become a fusion of a Dark Knight and the Spirit.

However the Facebook effort by his die-hard fans may have hit a bump after what appeared to be a communiqué from the man himself in which he is rumored to have said, ‘I will start tweeting once my thoughts become that long.

The man however wasn’t without critics and foes. But when compared to his fan they resembled more of a sponge cake on a baking powder high rather than an iron ball. Many psychological experts have also said that in the days after Pita Driti’s return to planet Krypton there would possibly be a high occurrence of depressive behavior being displayed by people; sign of a nation in mourning. What the actual effects would be is truly unfathomable at the moment and the nation can just wait for the day while holding their breath. 

Finally, unconfirmed reports from few established sources has indicated that Satan himself maybe be present to farewell Pita Driti despite recent tension between them; a result of clash of egos.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Democracy March


Breaking News!!! The organizers of the 4th March democratic march have announced that they would be present at Sukuna Park themselves. The organizers have aplogised for calling the march last year but not turning up themselves.

"This time its different. Because we had a calling from god himself, we will definitely be present." 

Quoting from the ancient Hinduism scripture of Bhagvad Geeta, one of the organisers read, "physical form can be destroyed, but spiritual form is eternal, which is why we will only be present spiritually."

Adding on, another organizer had this to say, "the key word is 'being present."

Meanwhile another organizer apologised for using excessive CAPS in the call for march letter explaining that the message was so long, it would have become extremely laborious while typing if they had to keep on changing from capital letters to small caps and back. He also said that the use of CAPS showed that they were from the grass-root level.