Saturday, May 3, 2008

Australia and New Zealand Refuses To Help Fiji

Says ‘We are no longer friends'

The Government of Australia and New Zealand have refused to provide any help to the interim government of Fiji by telling the government officials here that the friendship is over.

The Australian government in a brief press statement stated that they do not function in the ‘Pacific Way' of forgiving and moving on. “How can the interim government of Fiji contemplate in their wildest dreams that its ok to make negative comments about our government and then ask for assistance. We have to wonder if this is some psychological game and if it is it's a very stupid one,” the statement signed of by the Australian Foreign affairs Minister read.

According to senior Australian diplomat who spoke on condition of anonymity said “Yeah they don't even allow us into their homes and next thing you know is that they start asking for favors. I would recommend to them to go and read one of the Enid Blyton books to get the hang of friendship concept,”

However New Zealand government cited a totally different reason for the breakup. “Friends do not humiliate each other. We just fail to see any rationale in beating us so badly in the Wellington Sevens. Friendship is more about letting your friend win rather then doing the opposite,” a statement released from the New Zealand Foreign Affairs read.

In response to the Australasian governments statements, the RFMF called a press conference where Major Neumi Leweni said that the comments by the two governments is inciting. “If they do not want to help us, we will not help them in anyway.” The last statement left reporters at the scene somewhat baffled and many wondered what help was Fiji exactly offering to the Australian and New Zealand government.

Meanwhile it was reported in the ‘Yeah Right!' magazine that the inclusion of Deputy Commander of RFMF, Captain Esala Teleni would make the Fiji Independent Corruption Commission truly independent.

In other news, after holding Ba to a nil all draw in the first leg of the Champion Versus Champion series, a number of Suva soccer team members have opted to retire from soccer by saying that there is nothing more left to achieve after this feat.

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