Saturday, May 3, 2008

TROOPS ADMIT TO MUTINY CHARGES

"SEND US HOME"

In a rare twist to the mutiny trial all the accused soldiers decided to plead guilty to all the charges and requested the government to send them back to their original home.

With tears flowing freely from their eyes, the soldiers informed the court martial that they were from Pitcairn Island and wanted to go back. “We came to Fiji to visit the Bligh Waters and join the RFMF and become loyal soldiers but we did not realize that we are cursed”, one of the soldiers said. This episode at yesterday's proceeding shocked everyone. “We thought that these chaps were indigenous Fijians and fighting for a cause and not descendants of mutineers”, Judge Advocate Graham Leung blabbed.

The soldiers also said that Brad Johnstone should join the Fiji Rugby team coaching staff. One of the soldiers on trial, Josaia Waqabaca said, “The only man who can make this happen is Commodore Frank Bainimarama. Commander Bainimarama is clean and fighting for the truth, and only he can ask Brad to close his resort business and save the Fiji Rugby team”, Mr. Waqabaca continued.

However, in a press conference called by the RFMF, military spokesman, Captain Neumi Leweni said that it's a ploy by the Home Affairs ministry. “Our intelligence reports confirm that Home Affairs ministry is using these soldiers to end the trial quickly so they would end up paying only $30,000 but the people of Fiji can be assured that we will pay Graham $130,000" Captain Leweni added.

Captain Leweni also announced that the RFMF is opening up an events management company which would specialize in organizing press conferences.

In other news, shortly after it was reported that the Commonwealth Games baton was bringing people of different ethnic background and beliefs together, the Prime Minister Laisenia Qarase surprised everyone by withdrawing the Reconciliation, Tolerance and Unity Bill and replacing it with the Commonwealth Games baton.


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