Satire | Hillary Clinton Calls PM John Keys PM John Anand

In a major faux pas during her visit to New Zealand, US Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton addressed New Zealand’s Prime Minister John Keys as “PM John Anand.”

According to an insider, Mrs. Clinton later apologized to John Keys in private for her faux pas and quietly told Keys that he didn’t look and sound enough like a New Zealander hence her slip of tongue.

The insider further revealed that Mrs. Clinton’s private words to Mr. Keys made him deeply upset and sad.

“He just stood there shaking his head and murmuring that he was born in New Zealand atleast according to the certificate of birth.” 

Satire | Maori Activist Tame Iti Nominates Himself for the Wuglies

In a shocking move, controversial Maori activist Tame Iti has nominated himself for The Wuglies Award 

The move has left most of his followers baffled since the Wuglies Award is only for the most ugliest New Zealand website. However according to a statement released by Tame Iti, he would not allow the white men to discriminate him from receiving a makeover should he win.

According to Tame Iti, he feels that he is the front runner and any attempts to disqualify him from taking part in the competition would lead him to perform his most popular act, the Whakapohane or the barring of the buttocks. The statement further read that that Mr. Tame Iti’s failure to get into the Top 5 is once again a ploy by the white-man.

The Good, the Bad and the Fiji Water Authority

Recently during one of my afternoon walkouts, I got the chance to witness the utter brutality of the Fiji Water Authority(FWA)  workers. The mere sight was enough to make anyone shiver and squeal for help. Unfortunately the particular water pipe being brutalized could not say a thing.

Brutality

A huge yellow excavator with front end loader, the colour in itself enough to give a terrorizing nightmare, with its excavator raised and ready to thrust its teeth into the ground, a supervisor getting off his Hilux van and directing his men like a general in the Spartan army and the men themselves – 8 of them with pick, shovels and steel bars thumping their weapon of choice deep into the ground with sweat dripping down the side of their face and falling to the ground producing a sound effect that would have outdone the sonic boom – imagine what the poor water pipe would have been going thru just because it had the audacity to leak.