Al-Qaeda Responds to Gaddafis Accusation

In a surprise twist to the revolution that has been sweeping through the Middle East, Al-Qaeda and Osama bin Laden have finally involved themselves alas through a written statement purportedly from Osama bin Laden himself.

Strangely, for the first time ever, the statement did not mention America, Europe or Beyonce, rather, aiming its argument directly to the core thorny issue – the most recent statement released by Libyan leader Muammer Gaddafi – accusing Osama bin Laden of serving coffee.

According to the statement, Al-Qaeda and Osama bin Laden himself had deliberately stayed themselves clear of any involvement in the uprising in Tunisia and Egypt.

“For years, my organisation and I have built a rapport based on fear and terror. We showed extreme restraint and discipline by not getting drawn into the conflict in Tunisia and Egypt despite our name being evoked on many occasions by both the countries leaders.” 

But finally Gaddafi has done the most humiliating thing – implying that I am a barista and destroying all norms of decency by his ‘coffee accusation’. This is atrocious and insane,” 

“I wonder what he is going to say next; that we are planning on a Starbucks or a McDonalds franchise or worse, selling coffee in 1 liter packs now. We are in the business of bombs and terrorists and coffee has absolutely no part in our daily life. Screw you Gaddafi!” the statement read.

The statement which was supposedly hand written ended abruptly with ink smudged where the last character was written making analysts fear the worst – Osama bin Laden is totally pissed off with Gaddafi.