Ousted Ministers Become Farmers

“ Best Job Prior To Election”

In a revelation that is least likely to surprise anyone, the ousted ministers in the SDL government have returned to their villages to become farmers.

While speaking on the whereabouts of the ousted ministers to the local media, Soqosoqo Duavata ni Lewenivanua Party national director Peceli Kinivuwai, said that most of the deposed ministers will now concentrate on farming at least until the next general election.

”It is part of the plan outlined in our strategic paper that we prepared prior to the takeover,” the national director was quoted as saying.

According to a source close to Ted Young, the former minister is in Lomaivuna tending to his farm and praying daily for early elections.

”Well Ted knows that the best option prior to a general election is to do farming. Has anyone ever heard of mining assistance scheme or tourism assistance scheme or poverty alleviation scheme? Definitely not! Duh! It's the farming assistance scheme and these guys know how much advantage is in becoming farmers. The bucks is in farming and specifically before elections,” the source excitedly revealed.

However according to a report released by the Ministry of Agriculture, and published in the ‘Duh!' magazine, stated that the agriculture farming schemes do not benefit the farmers.

Meanwhile, the RFMF will file a complaint with the Fiji Human Rights Commission for emotional and psychological torture by prominent Suva lawyer, Richard Naidu who the military claims used “extremely difficult English words” and “non-understandable metaphors” while being interrogated.

In other news, businesswoman, Laisa Digitaki has claimed that the military has cheated and should have counted up to 10,000 before starting to look for her.