Bottle Collectors Rounded Up Accused of Uprising

“Australian Corporation Behind the Funding Campaign.”

In one of the most shocking incidents since the 2006 coup, bottle collectors from around the country were rounded up last night and are being interrogated at the Queen Elizabeth Barracks in Nabua.

According to a military source who spoke on the condition of anonymity, the bottle collectors were under surveillance for the past two months after being suspected of planning an uprising against the interim government, recruiting members of the public and funding the resistance movement.

“Reports were in about two months back and we planted our men as moles among these bottle collectors. Those moles were our eyes into the world of these insurgents. We learnt from our spies that the bottle collectors used Morse code through honking to communicate. We also found out that money was being channeled into certain households to which the bottle collectors went. We suspect a major Australian corporation behind this funding campaign. Our surveillance has revealed that the bottle collectors go to the offices of this company every afternoon,” the military source revealed further.

However the claims were strongly denied by the newly formed Fiji Bottle Collectors Association. According to the association spokesman, Mr. Satya Raju, the bottle collectors have only been involved in peaceful collection of beer bottles.
“I admit that we have at times honked more than usual at houses where there are girls or given less price for a dozen bottles but these claims by the military of resistance movement is way over the top. And as far as charges of funding the resistance is concerned, we do give money to people but it’s for the empty bottles that they sell us.”

Mr. Raju also denied claims of Morse code being used through their honking. “If we knew what Morse code was, we would not have been collecting bottles.

Meanwhile, Professor Richard Hayeberg of the University of Western Australia, a leading authority on bottle collectors and international terror funding, the bottle collectors are the most misunderstood people of our generation after the journalists and it could be a case of paranoia by the military.

In other news, Satan has angrily rebuked claims that he is somehow affiliated with Land Forces Commander, Pita Driti.