Government Announces Privatisation of Public Toilets

“Possible Listing on Stock Market.”

In what has become a trend recently, Attorney-General and Minister for Public Enterprises Aiyaz Sayed-Khaiyum has confirmed that all the public toilets around the country would be privatized.

According to Mr. Khaiyum, the government has appointed a consultant specialized in public toilet privatization.

“Currently the public toilet is enjoying monopolistic status and that there is a need to restructure it to have an efficient and vibrant shit sector that encourages private sector participation and provides better and affordable services. We are also exploring the possibility of listing it on the stock market,” Mr. Khaiyum added.

In a further backing to the government’s decision, a financial analyst based with local accounting firm, PWC, stated that the move by the government could possibly be the best to date.

“Government usually in their capacity as proxy owners of their investment is not very effective in obtaining maximum returns to them and services to the public. Once privatised, the stakeholders would vie for maximum return on their investment which means in this case that they would focus on specific functions of the public toilet that would be profitable. Coupled with an aggressive public relations effort and marketing campaign, the acquisition of public toilets could possibly be the best investment decision,” the analyst added.

However the move has been strongly criticized by the Fiji Public Toilet Workers Union. According to the union General Secretary, Mr. Tomasi Cacaka who is better known for his one line statements, the move by the Government was a short sighted one.

“This move to privatise the public toilets by the government of the day is very short sighted,” Mr. Cacaka stated.

Meanwhile shares of Fiji National Provident Fund (FNPF) listed in the Suva Stock Exchange jumped on the news that FNPF would be making a bid for the acquisition of the public toilets.

In other news, reports have filtered in that Fiji Prime Minister, Frank Bainimarama will move around the country in a disguise to better understand the plight of his subjects and the affairs of his kingdom.