Saturday, May 3, 2008

PRIME MINISTER ANNOUNCES ELECTION DATE

“SOMETIME IN THE NOT TOO DISTANT FUTURE”

The Prime Minister, Laisenia Qarase today announced the general election date as “sometime in the not too distant future”

Beaming with a broad smile, Mr. Qarase told reporters that the reason for the deferment of the election is because the mandate is with him and would remain with him for another 20 years. Referring to the mandate as a piece of declaration stored in a sandalwood box, Mr. Qarase, with the box tucked tightly under his right arm, said, “As long as I have the mandate, I will be the Prime Minister.”

It shocked the political circle when they learnt that Laisenia Qarase has the mandate. Mr. Pramod Rae of NFP said, “We had all the while assumed that the mandate was with the RFMF and the recent crisis at the military barracks between Frank and John was because of the mandate.” “Well it is no wonder that Qarase has increased the number of security personnel around him”, Mr. Rae added.
One of the political commentators said that it seemed like the test that was given to Colonel Jone Baleidrokadroka by the Commodore was to guess the location of the mandate and obviously he failed miserably because which soul on all the 333 islands would have ever in their wildest imagination thought that Laisenia Qarase has the mandate.

In a separate report, the Leader of the Opposition, Mahendra Chaudary in a press conference held this afternoon cleared the air on the mandate issue. “We have the original mandate and its kept in a very safe place.” “Its 100% authentic and I am sure that the mandate the Prime Minister has is a fake one.” Mr. Chaudary claimed. He also told the reporters that Mr. Qarase had most probably been duped by one of those fake Tabua sellers and requested the Police Commissioner to investigate the matter. “My guess is that the NFP also has a fake mandate.” Mr. Chaudary added.

In other news, the Ministry of Health, in a statement released today, acknowledged for the first time that there is an outbreak of ‘Pass-the-Buck' syndrome.

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